Electric Feel
by Echante
Summary: After Lexie dies in the crash, Addison goes to visit Mark like a good friend.


A/N: Hello all! One day, I woke up and realized it had been a long time since I had done any creative writing, and of course, I watched like a portion of some of the new episodes of Grey's anatomy. Not sure I entirely get whats going on, but eh, whatever. Hope you enjoy.

ALSO, took a look at the community section, McSexie has over taken my pride and joy Maddyson? What? I need two people who haven't yet to go subscribe. Hahah hope you enjoy, if there are grammer problems, I probably don't care. Hopefully you don't either!

* * *

_All along the Western Front, people line up to receive…_

The heart monitor beeped too shrilly into her left ear and she winced a bit to keep the sound at bay. As she looked into his closed eyes, she couldn't help thinking that life hadn't treated him too fairly.

He was dying, Lexie was dead.

Typical.

There was a little part of her that was annoyed at the whole situation; that failed to appreciate it fully. It had broken the peace of her now three year retreat to L.A. She left, but her past still chased her, was still breaking her heart. She turned her head to look at his vitals and tried unsuccessfully to study them.

She didn't really know what she was doing there, to be perfectly honest. She wasn't sure what claim she still had on his life, or on Derek's life, or on Seattle Grace. So she just sat, dutifully looking on, feeling the necessary pain. She wished he would wake up. She almost wished he would die.

Life hadn't been fair to Mark. Maybe making him live would be cruel.

It isn't something she contemplates often: the humanity of Mark Sloan. In fact, she'd stopped thinking about him altogether a few months back, believing that happiness would come once she was unburdened by her past.

But it hadn't really, now that she was thinking about it. Forgetting hadn't made her any happier. And now she realized that she had spent her life chasing after things: Yale, then Columbia, Derek, Mark, Derek again, Mark again, chief of surgery, a life in L.A., Pete, Sam, Jake, a baby.

She winces again. She doesn't want to continue this line of thought, it was making her depressed.

There's a knock on the door and she's relieved at the distraction, wearily saying, "come in," and then standing to meet the visitor.

Callie Torres wandered in and offered a weary smile. "How you holding up?" She asks, concern splayed on her face.

Addison shrugs, "I'm fine, he's the one on the hospital bed." She points out, nodding towards Mark's unmoving figure.

Callie moved to hug her and did so from the side asking, "how long have you been here?"

Addison shrugged, "a couple hours, more than six, less than ten."

"That's a long time." Callie replies absently, not really meaning anything by the comment, just filling the silence. They both knew that if Mark died, they would be at a loss. The stakes were high for both of them.

Addison clung tightly to Callie's waist, her other arm clutching Mark's hand. She tries not to reminisce, but it seems to be all she can do. The memories pour back into her mind and pushed back against her temple, making it ache.

She spat out a hollow laugh saying, "I can only seem to remember the good times. I know there were bad ones, and I know that Mark and I almost dismantled each other, but all I can remember is his smile." She shakes her head and scoffs, "he was such a douchebag."

At this Callie laughs out-loud, shaking her head but agreeing, "yes. Yes he was."

Addison glanced briefly at Callie, asking sharply, "you don't think I ruined him do you? He was happy with Grey?"

Callie nodded, "He was in love. It was so cute, Mark Sloan, in love."

Addison nodded satisfied, "It's good to know that he can be happy. I wasn't sure it was possible."

Callie bit her tongue, not trusting herself to refrain from berating Addison for that comment. After all, it was mostly Addison's fault that he had been so miserable. She had put him in a position that potentially ruined his life. She had risked everything he held dear for a few brief moments of lust. And he had let her. But Callie knew well enough to keep her mouth shut. Perhaps in Addison's selective memory she was the wronged one. It would do no good to make her think otherwise. Particularly if Mark died, Addison would be consumed by the guilt.

So they sit in silence for hours, listening to the constant beep of the monitor, falling asleep and waking. An endless, miserable cycle.

* * *

Meredith Grey and Addison Montgomery had never really been friends. They had come close to being enemies once, although that had tapered off into mutual discomfort. So when Meredith Grey watched Addison Montgomery walk out of Mark Sloan's hospital room, she only flinched but did not speak. It was not her place. She hoped however, that Addison would respect that Lexie Grey was dead, and that Mark had loved her.

Addison looked terrible, miserable even.

Meredith quickly scattered. This was none of her business. And seeing Addison falling apart was not something that she was interested in doing.

But then, what happened next made her stop cold in her tracks. Addison had crumbled to the floor, sobbing.

It was a strange moment for Meredith, seeing women she didn't completely understand become even more of an enigma. She hesitated, not sure what the protocol was in this situation but finally succumbed to her greater sense of pity and awkwardly went to comfort the older woman. The moment she sat down beside Addison, Meredith wanted to run. Instead Addison fell into her lap and wouldn't stop crying.

Meredith strokes her red hair, uncomfortable, imagining that someone looking in would presume that she was petting a very red-haired dog. Like Clifford, but smaller.

She whispers quietly into Addison's hair and tries her best to soothe her nerves. It was an odd moment for them and they don't speak about it later. But years after that moment, they both acknowledge that it was then that they officially became fond of one another.

Every tragedy has strange linings on its fringes.

* * *

_She's got the power in her hands, to shock you like you won't believe…_

He wakes to a splitting headache and roaring pain. He reaches out, expecting Lexie but finding a weary looking Addison instead. He doesn't know why, but the sight of her makes him boil with rage. He tries to sit abruptly but weariness forces him down.

She looks at him frightened. It's only then that he realizes that he is growling. He doesn't understand where his anger is coming from but Addison had used him as a punching bag once upon a time. Now it was time to return the favor.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asks her, his voice dripping in disdain.

She looks incredulous, "what?"

He attempts to shrug, "You always told me that I was nothing, you told me I couldn't hack it as a boyfriend, and I guess I proved you right huh?"

"Mark, what the hell are you talking about?" She recognizes what is coming, and she wonders if their friendship is strong enough for her to allow him to abuse her like he's planning.

"What? You never thought I could be happy, and I was dedicated and look what happens. It's God's punishment for everything I did to Derek, and everything I did to you."

Addison bites down on her lower lip and looks to the ground, willing herself to stay put.

Mark rattles on, "But what about everything you did to me? What about how you abused the crap out of me? You used me Addison, you told me you loved me and then stepped all over my heart." He knows that he isn't being fair, he was instrumental in his own heartbreak, but he misses Lexie and hates that after all the effort he put into getting to a better place, he was still there with Addison, replaying their dysfunction. The dysfunction he'd thought he'd escaped with Lexie Grey.

"How about when you aborted my child," he prods further, trying to get a reaction out of her, "and I was so happy Addison, that's right, without you. I can live without you. You aren't as special as you think you are Addison Forbes-Montgomery."

They sit there in silence for a while, Addison staring at the ground, Mark heaving from the effort of yelling. Then, without a word, Addison turns and walks out of his room, leaving Mark with a bitter feeling of regret.

* * *

He is still fuming when Callie comes in to visit him, from the look in her eyes, he knows that she knows what just transpired. He tries to be mature but in the end, he just spits out, "oh she went running to you didn't she. Did she tell you that mean old Mark made her cry? Well fuck that."

Callie just eyes him with tired eyes. "Mark, what did you say to her?"

He crosses his arms, "No how are you feeling? Oh glad you're alive?"

Callie sighs, "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. Lexie's dead, the only good thing that's ever happened to me. I'm this close to keeling over and biting the dust too. I have no idea how my best friend is doing… Did she tattle on me?"

Callie shakes her head, "No. But I know that look, she's been in a daze since you woke up. You could be nicer you know. She sat by your side all weekend. She hasn't eaten yet."

He sighs and swallows his anger. "Tell her to come in," he says, "I'll apologize."

* * *

_Said 'ooh girl, shock me like electric feel...'_

"Look Addison," he says when she walks back into the room, "I was out of line…"

She cuts him off, "Look Mark, I understand, I've been there, you're angry, you didn't say anything untrue…" she trails off, re-collecting her thoughts, "I deserved that. And besides," she grants him a half-smile, "I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't let you beat me up once in awhile."

Mark swallows and shakes his head, "you know, you may have been the best friend I ever had."

Addison laughs at that, "and right back at you sir."

And that's all it takes, they fall back into friendly bantering and Mark almost forgets that the worst had just happened. Addison does her best to ensure that he doesn't remember the crash.

_Baby girl, turn me on with that electric feel_

It becomes natural. Addison has two men waiting in L.A., but she doesn't return, pushing back her flight again and again and fills her time accompanying Mark on long walks in the park, discussing his inexplicable fear of the occupy movement, her inability to truly love Sam or Jake, his strange new love of cooking, and how, from an economic standpoint, their country was in the pooper.

And then one day, he wakes up without thinking about Lexie first, and she wakes up without thinking that she is in L.A.

One day, he realized that he was smiling more than he was crying. He realizes that the sky seems less grey overhead and the horizon seems endless.

She's sitting with her back against his chest and his arms wrapped around her when she turns to him and asks, "Do you remember what it was like before? When we were miserable?"

He shakes his head and kisses the back of her head, "No."

She turns to study his face, hesitantly and then asks, "Do you think we can be happy?"

He presses his lips against hers, chastely but with love, their first kiss in almost a year. "I think you are the love of my life, and that we can do almost anything."

She smiles and stares back ahead, "I'm moving back to Seattle," she announces, "so don't get sick of me."

He leans down and whispers into her ear, "Marry me."


End file.
